'Become a Lake' - creating a larger container for our experience.
Updated: Oct 27, 2019
There is a parable about an ageing spiritual master who had an apprentice. This young man was always miserable, often complaining about this or that. Growing tired at last of his disciple's attitude, the master sent him one morning to fetch a bag of salt from the store house.
When the apprentice returned, the master instructed the unhappy young man to take a handful of salt, put in a glass of water, and then to drink it.
‘How does it taste?’ the master asked.
‘Bitter,’ spat the apprentice.
The master chuckled and then asked the young man to take another handful of salt and follow him down to the lake.
The two made their way there in silence. As they stood at the edge of the lake, the master instructed the apprentice to take the handful of salt and swirl it into the water.
‘Now,’ the old man said, ‘drink from the lake.’
As the water dripped down the young man’s chin, the master asked, ‘How does it taste?’
‘Fresh,’ remarked the apprentice.
‘Do you taste the salt?’ asked the master.
‘No,’ said the young man.
At this the master sat beside this serious young man, and took his hand, saying:
‘The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains exactly the same.
‘However, the amount of bitterness we taste depends on the container we put the pain in. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things. Stop living your life as a glass. Become a lake.’
We can spend a lot of time trying to get rid of the salt in life. We wish that we could fix it, transmute it in some way. This kind of work may be helpful along the way, but in time we come to realise that we each have our lot of pain in this life. Whether or not we experience this as a source of suffering has a great deal to do with the kind of container we have.
I often talk with people I work with about this idea of ‘container.’ In the Somatic Experiencing way of looking at things, so much of the discomfort, the suffering, we experience day to day comes from the contraction we carry in our bodies, the places in which we are braced against life.
We made ourselves smaller in order to survive. What was meant to be a short term coping strategy, however, evolves over time into a habitual way of being. Deep patterns of contraction in the body affect our posture, our breathing, our thoughts, our sense of connection to others...ultimately affecting our whole experience of life. We have become like the glass.
In Somatic Experiencing sessions, we can begin to explore what the movement towards expansion might feel like – always working at a pace that our nervous system can tolerate. Rather than always seeking to reduce, to manage, to explain what is happening with us, there can be a tremendous sense of freedom that comes with the discovery that, sometimes, the response that is required is to allow things to expand.
In this way we begin to gain more space in the body. We contact a fuller sense of who we are, of our potential in life. We may come to discover that what we needed all this time was not just to feel ‘OK,’ but to feel alive again.
If this post resonates with you and you think you might like to work with me, or find out more about Somatic Experiencing, please get in touch.
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